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It has been a long time since I’ve posted regularly. I’ve had at least one person complain to me of my blog silence. (To that person: Twitter, man, I’m telling ya!) But I think in part, my thoughts have become a little more scattered (you know, considering the incredibly short style I’ve adopted because of Twitter), but in a larger part, I think it’s time to shift this blog in a new direction, or at the very least, refresh it. So I’m curious: what do you readers want to see more of?
Do you want to see more results of the recipes I’m trying?
Should I post more photo-diary entries?
Would you be interested in following a serial story written by moi (and in helping me out when I get writer’s block)?
Would you like to hear more of my thoughts/perspectives on politics, literature, dance, love/marriage, God/Jesus/Christianity/spirituality, etc?
Do you want more links/random clippings from what I’m reading?
More stories about my day?
I’ve enjoyed writing for you for the past three years, and hearing your opinions and reading your blogs, and I hope the direction I will be taking this blog in the future is one that you will be interested in reading.
On January 1st of this year, I posted a list of resolutions on my Blogger site. That post can be found here.
We are just under two months away from the new year and so I think it would be worthwhile to examine my resolutions and how (or even if) I have improved in the course of the year since making them. This is actually the first time I have gone back and looked over resolutions from the past. Other years I have made them, but they were usually on a looseleaf sheet of paper or buried in a journal or school notebook, and so I never found them again before the new year was upon us. Over the past month, I have stumbled across my New Year’s Resolutions post several times, and so I think it is important that I make some examination of it.
The reason I chose each resolution is listed in the original post. Here, I shall simply state the resolution and how I think I have or have not improved.
1. I will be more decisive.
Hmm. Well, as with anything else, it is a work in progress. But I have noticed that my conversation is moving in this direction. Rather than taking an “I don’t care, whatever” approach, I am more able to approve and forward a plan. I am also noticing a greater initiative taken in bringing plans to fruition. As well, I have become far more able to declare when I don’t approve a plan. In the past, it was often the case that I would shrug and say, “Well, whatever” if I really didn’t want to do something. And while that is sometimes the appropriate response, I am learning to be honest with my opinion and perspective, especially when the person I am talking with would genuinely like to know the truth behind where I am coming from. Unless I notice any serious changes that need to be made in the next two months, I think I can safely graduate this from the list. While it is something I need to keep working on, I think I can safely move my focus in the new year.
2. I will remember that physical activity helps with stress management.
I don’t think it has been a conscious decision, but I have adopted regular physical activity into my lifestyle. Let me modify that statement. I have adopted regular physical activity that I enjoy into my lifestyle. As you are probably completely aware, I have taken up swing dancing, something that I do at least twice a week. I attend a weekly dance and I have enrolled in weekly lessons. As I said, it wasn’t a purposeful move. My thought process wasn’t “I need physical activity to help with stress management”; it was more “I love dancing, how can I get more involved?”. As a result, I have noticed that my stress level is reduced. Granted, it probably helps that I have completed my undergrad degree, but there is more peace and more energy in my life now than before when the physical activity I chose was less purposeful and less enjoyable.
3. I will breathe Scripture.
I composed an email several nights ago and in the course of it, I did something I have not done in a very long time: I quoted Scripture. I unconsciously quoted Scripture. I mean, I knew it was from the Bible, but my thought process wasn’t, “Oh, I think a verse should go here, wait, let me find one.” No, it was something that had been on my mind and in my heart, and so it naturally came in the course of my writing.
This, however, is one area that I know I can continue improving on. I still do not spend enough time in Scripture. It is a lot more regular than it used to be, but I am not purposeful in it, and I do not dwell in it as I would like. I re-read emails, poetry and novels with a regularity that puts my Scripture reading to shame. I do not know it as I would like. This, I think, will be something I keep into the new year. But I would like to focus on it differently. I am not sure how, but I have two months to continue contemplating this.
4. I will find a stronger rein for my tongue.
Uh oh. Yea, FAIL. I haven’t been purposeful about this one at all. This I will keep on my list.
5. I will not be afraid to make mistakes.
Another fail.
It’s funny, I have a lot to say about the areas where I feel improvement, but not nearly as much in the areas where I haven’t improved as I would like to.
If anything, I have become more afraid of making mistakes. So, this will likely stay on the list.
6. I will choose to live joyfully and full of hope.
This is a hard-earned success, one that I think is still hesitant in its display. But I think it is very worth encouraging it to bloom. You can either choose to live clouded by despair and fear or you can choose to live guided by joy and hope. I am choosing the latter. This will probably stay on the list, but I am not sure in what form.
7. I will have fun.
Yay, big success. I have had a lot of fun this past year. I wrote in my original post,
There is much to be done, much to be excited for, much to plan and hope and dream.
And how right I was. This will probably stay on, not because I have failed, but because it is important to remember. It is easy to get caught up in all of the to-do’s and should-do’s, but it is really important to remember to have fun while doing them.
Stay tuned come January 2009 for a brand new list of resolutions, and I would encourage you to think of some yourself. I think there are always ways that we can improve and by writing them down, it does then beg an examination of them later on. If you choose to write them on a public forum, send me a link, and we can see how we all are doing in the months to come.
God bless!
I don’t really have anything imaginative to write.
The movers are here, currently going through our house, looking at what goes and what stays. Even though I haven’t been really blogging, I have been Twittering something awful. So, for better updates on what’s going on in my life, check it out.
I had an amazing weekend, though. That is something worth blogging about. Hmm, well, perhaps not worth blogging. It’s like Steph said here. It was an exceptional weekend, not for any big event, but just a lot of small bits of lovely, all put together in a couple of days.
Went dancing Friday night in my University town. It definitely ended far earlier than a lot of us were ready for, but I suppose considering it’s summer it makes sense. There were a lot of enjoyable dances, especially one where my partner ended with several quick spins and a sudden dip I wasn’t expecting (one that cause me to squeal a little bit, much to my own chagrin). But despite that 
, on my way home the next day, I gave him a ride into Toronto. It was a good day. I was too focused on the road, but he managed to keep conversation going. Looking back, I think I may have been too tired to divide my attention. We’ll go with that theory . And then we went for lunch on the Danforth, an experience, which, believe it or not, I have never had before, despite living an easy drive from Toronto for the past nine or so years.
The “too tired” theory is further supported by the fact that I took a deep nap that afternoon after arriving home, to the point where I literally did not hear my family going in and out of the house, and calling for each other throughout the course of the afternoon. (Sorry, family, especially Josh…)
Then yesterday, I met with a good friend of mine. Our plan was to spend some time together before the move, but I also needed to do some shopping. “I love shopping,” she told me, and so the plan was set. We spent the afternoon shopping and chatting. And Saturday’s and yesterday’s evenings were spent at two different churches, saying goodbye to friends and people I would consider family from there, people who will be greatly missed.
Anyway, the movers are now laying down moving pads over banisters and carpets. More updates to follow, especially on Twitter .
At the risk of freaking out both of my parents by stating an actual number on a forum they both read, we move in 19 sleeps* ( ). I have ten more days of work, three more weekends of excitement, and 11 or so afternoons of relative boredom (balanced by the pressing assurance that I ought to be doing something productive). It’s exciting.
We’re clearing away a bunch of old furniture that we won’t really have use for in our new house. My dresser is to depart on Tuesday, meaning that I have to clear everything out from inside of it. That is, clothes, knitting, papers (papers and more papers), and a lot of miscellaneous stuff that I decided at one time or another was important to keep. We’ll see how I feel about it now that it has been sitting untouched in those drawers since I sorted through my entire room three months ago.
Anyway, ’tis exciting. Weird to think (two and a half weeks?? Waaah!), but exciting. Check back for more updates! (Though there may not be any more move-related posts until we’ve actually moved 
)
*Hopefully this is relatively self-explanatory. But in case it’s not, when Matthew was much younger, that was how we counted down to exciting events for him. “7 sleeps until your birthday!”, “4 sleeps until we go on vacation!”, “One more sleep until Christmas!”, that kind of thing.
Because I have a lot of friends who are married or who soon will be, an answer to the question why.
I follow a lot of blogs. All of them amuse, interest and, in most cases , educate me. They make me think and on many occasions, I have wanted to share what I’ve read, but it doesn’t always happen. Either I forget, or I have something else in mind I want to blog about. I also don’t want the total number of posts I write about other blogs to exceed the number of original posts I have .
This blog isn’t one that I follow all that closely, but I subscribed to it, mostly because of the way Hayden Tompkins, the author, uses language. So while I don’t follow this blog closely, there are some posts that just reach out and grab me. Like the one I linked to above.
Obviously, I don’t necessarily agree with or subscribe to all of what is written in the article, but I think that some wonderful points are made. It is certainly worth reading and considering what the application for your own life might be (single or married, because, after all, the call to love is a universal one, not just reserved for those doe-eyed, soon-to-be-married or already-there types).
Tell me what you think! Or drop a line over at Persistent Illusion. Actually, no, no “or”. It has to be “and”. If you leave a comment there, then you should be thinking, “And I’ll leave one at Faith, Hope and Love as well, because I know how much Tara wants to read what I have to say.”
So, my disclaimers first. I had not the time nor the resources to touch these up the way they deserved. Also, I am not the photo expert that my dad is. I was just playing. My primary purpose is to make all my friends jealous and to surreptitiously (or perhaps not so much ) hint at how gorgeous a town it is, and you know, try and convince ya’ll to move up there .
The view outside our hotel window
A house downtown
Another house
Keep in mind, this isn’t some of the architecture in Kingston, this is most of the architecture in the downtown area.
Some construction workers
So I was standing taking pictures looking into the park and all I heard from behind me was “hey! hey, over here!” It took me a second to clue in that someone was shouting at me. When I looked back, this construction worker at the top of the ladder was all smiles, his hands thrown dramatically over his head. “Over here!”
So I took a picture (click for a larger view)
A building on the Queen's University campus
Looking up at an old church
A different view of the church
Don’t you love it? Come live here! Or at least come visit
Scene: The playground at lunch recess
Characters: Myself (teacher’s assistant and lunch monitor), Girl A, Girl B
Girl A and B skip up towards myself
Girl A: Teacher, can we walk with you?
Me: Sure! What are your names?
(They tell me)
Me: What grade are you in?
Girl A: Grade one
Me: What kinds of things are you learning right now?
Girl B: We’re learning about money.
Me: Like counting it and stuff?
Girl A: Yea… (pause) Do you have a son?
Me: (in that mock surprise voice that is true surprise, but trying to pass itself off as teasing) A son? No! Do I look old enough to have a son?
I’ve been asked the question before, but the usual silly giggles as the asker realizes that, no, in fact, I do not look old enough to have a son, do not come; instead they look at me with wide, honest eyes and say,
“Yes.”
“I do?”
And then my internal voice kicks in: You’re twenty-two, hun.
“Oh.”
I look old enough to have kids… huh. That’s a weird thought to get used to.
I could write about being done. But I don’t really want to. I could write about the harried packing and goodbyes of yesterday morning. But I don’t really want to. I could write about how strange it is trying to bring myself to understand that I am never moving back to that place and never living with those people again. But I’d really rather not.
What I would like to write about is the chaos my room in my parents’ house is in. Every year, I pack up the things from that room that I believe I’ll need to take with me to school. Throughout the school year, I add to what I’ve taken each time I visit home. By the end of the year, yes, I have an awful lot more than what I began with, but I did bring it all from the same bedroom. Upon arriving home, I realize that there is absolutely no space in my room to house all of the things that I am attempting to force it to hold. I do not understand how this works. I empty a bookshelf to take with me, but on returning home, there is not nearly enough room for all the books I have. Do I really purchase that many books while away? Do textbooks really take up that much room? Do I really forget how packed all of the storage spaces in my room are every time I come home?
One thing I will say about goodbyes is this: all of the friends I have made in these past four years have made an impact on me. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without their love and care, their jokes and silliness, their earnest attention, their unexpected passions, their desire to pursue a deeper faith. I have been encouraged and inspired and incredibly blessed. As I was driving home, that is all I could think about my time in that place. I have been so blessed. I never would have imagined the friendships I have made. They have–you have–all exceeded my expectations and my greatest hopes for the kinds of people I would meet there. I will miss everyone very much. But I am glad for the opportunities we have had to touch each other’s lives and for the grace to see God working in those connections. No matter how small, one life touching another cannot help but make a difference. Love and blessings. Numbers 6:24-26.
It’s slowly starting to sink in.
We had our term end banquet last night. The residence where I used to live holds one every term, just after classes end and a few days before exams begin. It is always a lot of fun: a good excuse to get all dolled up, a delicious meal, speeches and thank-you’s, dessert, a talent show and a dance to finish things off. It’s a Mennonite residence (this, not this) and so the evening begins with a chapel service. It really hit during that service. The chaplain asked some graduating students to share something of their faith journeys during their time associated with the residence, and two of those students are very good friends of mine. Both speeches were delightful to listen to, but one hit close to home especially. He is currently one of my neighbours and I think we’re both at the same place as far as graduating goes. We’ve both lived as a part of this residence community for our whole undergrad, our friends are almost all mutual friends, and we’re both preparing to say goodbye to a place and a community that has become a family to us. I appreciate the chapel services because they allow for private reflection through corporate worship. In those reflections, I realized how much I am going to miss this place and these people.
The rest of the night was delightful. At the dance, I realized that my swing technique has improved since I first learned. A better indication of the grasp I am developing of dancing is that I realize, despite the improvement, how horrid my technique actually is… The technique class I sat in for this past weekend probably assisted that realization
I also have a lot of wonderful pictures from before and during the events of the night. I don’t think I’ve ever taken that many pictures at a term end banquet before.
Afterward (12:30 or 1:00am), we went back to the guys’ apartment and sat up talking and… *cough*watching YouTube videos*cough*… until 2 or 3 in the morning.
And now it is back to routine. It’s so strange to have that ending, that good bye, but to still have two weeks before actually leaving. (Only two weeks? Really?)
1 essay, 3 exams and several dozen goodbyes…
I feel the need to justify my choice of title, for it sounds to me more melancholy than I intend. I chose it because of the poetic, if somewhat cliché, nature of it.
My convocation ceremony is in a week.
Well, it isn’t the university convocation – I won’t be receiving my diploma – but it is a smaller ceremony with the residence I lived at in my first and second years (the residence that the apartment building I am currently living in is associated with). It will be a smaller ceremony, and each of the graduating students will say a very short sound byte of what their plans are for the future. It’s on my mind because some friends were asking when and where it was. If you’re a friend and would like to come but don’t know the details, send me a note and I’ll get them to you.
The past couple of weeks have felt a little strange. We’ve started reverting to first year in our behaviours; that is, playing cards on a regular basis, going out for ice cream or dinner, staying up late watching movies – all of those things that we stopped doing as the routine shifted more to schoolwork and household management. It’s been good, though, to get back to the fun, random things we used to do.
I was talking with another friend of mine who is graduating as well, and we agreed that a good balance was going to be difficult to find for the next couple of weeks. As much as we would like to study to do well on our exams, we also want to spend these next weeks with our friends, doing all of this random stuff.
It took all term, but I think with my speech, things are slowly starting to sink in. As much as it is the start of something new and (hopefully) exciting, it is also the end of something good, something that is going to be dearly missed.
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