Wanna dance?

This is how I spent my reading week. More or less

Zack and Maryse

This is easily one of my favourite swing dancing videos.

First, it’s Balboa, which is my newest fancy, second, it’s a thoroughly enjoyable song. And the couple looks like they are having so much fun together. I haven’t been able to figure out if it’s a routine or not. Obviously the couple has danced together and practiced all of the moves they did together, and probably danced to this song together… but I’m not sure. It doesn’t seem like a performance.

Anyway, I think another reason it looks fun is because he gives her ample room to play in the song (times 0:21, 0:43, 0:45, to name a few). I was reading an opinion on this on another dancer’s blog. I don’t really have any tricks in my repertoire beyond the basic swivel (and maybe a fake kick or two…), and as I’ve said about other blogs, I don’t necessarily agree with everything she’s saying, but I think I agree with the overall point she’s making. The dance is about both people on the floor. I heard a critique on a couple once in the past, and one of the critics raved about the woman’s ability to wait for her partner. There was one move (I can’t remember it exactly), where he spun her out and then did some trick on his own, and she had to wait for a couple of beats for his trick to finish before he turned back to her, and she did so, perfectly. It wasn’t even something I’d noticed before, but I guess that’s another thing to think about. The dance isn’t about being in motion all of the time, or pulling out moves to make it fun. The dance is about the two people on the floor, enjoying the music, the atmosphere and most importantly, each others’ company.

Anyway, just some thoughts, I guess. And if you want to watch the video again, check out the fabulous turns at ~1:04 and the unbelievable dip at ~2:06 . The dip is slightly less amazing, but slightly more realistic/copy-able when you realize what her left arm is doing.

Because things are busy

I don’t really have anything imaginative to write.

The movers are here, currently going through our house, looking at what goes and what stays. Even though I haven’t been really blogging, I have been Twittering something awful. So, for better updates on what’s going on in my life, check it out.

I had an amazing weekend, though. That is something worth blogging about. Hmm, well, perhaps not worth blogging. It’s like Steph said here. It was an exceptional weekend, not for any big event, but just a lot of small bits of lovely, all put together in a couple of days.

Went dancing Friday night in my University town. It definitely ended far earlier than a lot of us were ready for, but I suppose considering it’s summer it makes sense. There were a lot of enjoyable dances, especially one where my partner ended with several quick spins and a sudden dip I wasn’t expecting (one that cause me to squeal a little bit, much to my own chagrin). But despite that , on my way home the next day, I gave him a ride into Toronto. It was a good day. I was too focused on the road, but he managed to keep conversation going. Looking back, I think I may have been too tired to divide my attention. We’ll go with that theory . And then we went for lunch on the Danforth, an experience, which, believe it or not, I have never had before, despite living an easy drive from Toronto for the past nine or so years.

The “too tired” theory is further supported by the fact that I took a deep nap that afternoon after arriving home, to the point where I literally did not hear my family going in and out of the house, and calling for each other throughout the course of the afternoon. (Sorry, family, especially Josh…)

Then yesterday, I met with a good friend of mine. Our plan was to spend some time together before the move, but I also needed to do some shopping. “I love shopping,” she told me, and so the plan was set. We spent the afternoon shopping and chatting. And Saturday’s and yesterday’s evenings were spent at two different churches, saying goodbye to friends and people I would consider family from there, people who will be greatly missed.

Anyway, the movers are now laying down moving pads over banisters and carpets. More updates to follow, especially on Twitter .

You’re doing it wrong

“You’re doing it wrong.”

Probably the single most destructive phrase in a dance relationship.

I must include my qualifiers and disclaimers before I go on. If it is a dance relationship in which both parties know, respect and are comfortable with each other, saying, “you’re doing it wrong” usually comes across quite differently than when it is said in the middle of a 3-4 minute song where you have only just managed to commit your partner’s name to memory.

In the course of a dance, especially when the lead is in the beginning stage of learning, it is very easy for mixed signals to occur, and so the follower sometimes does something other than what the lead intended. As a follower, there are two moves that, if not led strongly enough, are easy to confuse: the circle and the swing-out (in this video, the first three moves, when the couple goes from open position to closed position are: the swing-out, the sushi roll and the circle. Notice in the first move, the swing-out, that the lady leaves the gentleman’s arms. In the sushi roll, the second move, she spins as she leaves his arms, and then in the third move, the circle, she remains in his arms). If the lead hasn’t quite figured out how to lead those moves, the follow (ie, me) is tempted to leave his arms for a swing-out, when he was intending a circle, or to stay in his arms for a circle, when he was intending a swing-out.

I experienced this confusion once with a partner who was eager to learn and to figure out why the moves weren’t working properly. And so I explained to him that his lead for the circle and the swing-out felt the same for me. He thought about that, and when we tried it again, his lead was much stronger. Not overbearing, but when he was intending a circle, he kept his arm strong enough so that I knew he wasn’t about to let me go into a swing-out.

I have experienced it in other scenarios where the lead was convinced that I was the problem. And in a sense, that is true: I was the one misinterpreting his intentions, but by the same token, he is the one leading the dance, and if I do something wrong, it isn’t altogether my problem alone, it is a matter of miscommunication. In a lead-follow dance relationship, any problem that arises is a result of both members of the couple. She didn’t follow his lead well, but he did not communicate it in a way that she could understand. He did not lead a move properly, but she wasn’t paying enough attention to follow it as he intended. When it comes down to it, no matter what the problem is, or where it is arising from, it is a problem for both people and both need to work on improving communication.

I was clicking through a dance club website once, and read through their page on dance etiquette, and they suggest ways for fixing miscommunication problems. They suggested a helpful phrase. When there is a break down in communication, there should not be blame (ie, “You’re doing it wrong!”), there should be a desire to understand and improve, both self and other. They suggested this phrase: “I don’t think that move worked out correctly, what do you think we can do to make it better?” This leaves your partner ample room to suggest the problem they are facing in the dance, without criticizing their dancing or placing blame.

Shall we philosophize by making this a metaphor? Oh, I think we shall.

We can broaden this and look at any relationship between people. Most fall-outs are a result of miscommunication, followed by determined blame-placing, fault-finding and criticism. Perhaps, rather than seeking to place blame, we should seek to understand where the breakdown in communication is happening. I have to believe that relationships would go a lot smoother if we made the effort to determine why the other did things the way they did. That isn’t to say that all pain would dissipate, or that there wouldn’t be any more fights, but it is to say that at least then, the lines of communication would be open. Even if there is still pain crossing the wires, at least then they could talk to each other about it and work towards some kind of resolution.

What do you think?

Kevin and Carla (and dance withdrawal)

As I have established on Twitter, I am going through dance withdrawal. Well, I’m going through lots of other withdrawal (friends, cooking, piano, walks, middle-of-the-night going for pizza/Timmie’s/etc), but I’m going to talk about the dance withdrawal, because I can post cool videos!

Also, dance withdrawal is easier to write about than, say, friend withdrawal.

Anyway, so it has been at least two, probably closer to three weeks since I’ve danced. And, though there is an event this coming Friday, I don’t have access to a vehicle. Oh well.

In all honesty, there really is no point to this post except to put up videos. Because I think they’re cool.

Two weeks

It’s slowly starting to sink in.

We had our term end banquet last night. The residence where I used to live holds one every term, just after classes end and a few days before exams begin. It is always a lot of fun: a good excuse to get all dolled up, a delicious meal, speeches and thank-you’s, dessert, a talent show and a dance to finish things off. It’s a Mennonite residence (this, not this) and so the evening begins with a chapel service. It really hit during that service. The chaplain asked some graduating students to share something of their faith journeys during their time associated with the residence, and two of those students are very good friends of mine. Both speeches were delightful to listen to, but one hit close to home especially. He is currently one of my neighbours and I think we’re both at the same place as far as graduating goes. We’ve both lived as a part of this residence community for our whole undergrad, our friends are almost all mutual friends, and we’re both preparing to say goodbye to a place and a community that has become a family to us. I appreciate the chapel services because they allow for private reflection through corporate worship. In those reflections, I realized how much I am going to miss this place and these people.

The rest of the night was delightful. At the dance, I realized that my swing technique has improved since I first learned. A better indication of the grasp I am developing of dancing is that I realize, despite the improvement, how horrid my technique actually is… The technique class I sat in for this past weekend probably assisted that realization

I also have a lot of wonderful pictures from before and during the events of the night. I don’t think I’ve ever taken that many pictures at a term end banquet before.

Afterward (12:30 or 1:00am), we went back to the guys’ apartment and sat up talking and… *cough*watching YouTube videos*cough*… until 2 or 3 in the morning.

And now it is back to routine. It’s so strange to have that ending, that good bye, but to still have two weeks before actually leaving. (Only two weeks? Really?)

1 essay, 3 exams and several dozen goodbyes…

Lindy Hop

This video is super cute:

Swing fever

There really is no way to write about dancing.

Well, that’s not entirely true (see here), but I find it very difficult to write about, for you see, nothing quite captures the experience of actually doing it. Therefore, everyone must go out now and find a place that teaches beginner’s swing dance and learn .

What I find to be the most fun is the social aspect of it. I’ve only been to a couple of swing dance events, but at both of them, the people were all friendly and welcoming. The gentlemen were very good about asking different ladies to dance (meaning we wouldn’t have to sit out for too long if we didn’t want to) and everyone there took pleasure in making conversation around the room.

When I first arrived at the most recent event I attended (a Swing and Tango dance party), I was a little uncomfortable. I only knew three people in the room, but they all seemed to know a lot of the others through the lessons/group they were a part of.

Another lady sat near us and we started chatting, which was very nice. Then I dance with one of the gentlemen that I knew, sat and watched/chatted through the next several sets of songs and then I’m not exactly sure what happened, but all of the sudden, I found myself only sitting down when the tango music came on. And then even during that, an older gentleman insisted I try, even though I didn’t know the steps.

The people I danced with were all very kind, and between dances, we would all cluster in groups, enjoying the cool outdoor air, or nibbling on snacks, chatting and laughing.

A highlight was the rueda demonstration that the dance class gave. The video is, obviously, not from that night, but the idea is essentially the same.

It was a good night. The only thing missing was one of our friends, who, alas, could not make it because of schoolwork. It is that time of the year. But, there is another event coming up soon! Hopefully we can all make it to that